In this article, we’re going to see why humour is not always a good thing when it comes to attracting a girl. This might surprise you but it’s true: you should be cautious with humour and with the time you use it. You should use it at the right moments, in an appropriate manner.
Like many guys, you’ve probably been told that in order to make girls attracted to you, you should make them laugh. You’ve probably been told that you should be constantly joyful and playful when interacting with a girl you like. You’ve probably been told that you shouldn’t be serious, but that you should let the girl sense that you’re not a boring guy who takes things too seriously.
And this advice is pretty good. But here is the thing: too many guys take it to the extreme and fail to understand that this advice is only a part of what you should do when interacting with a woman you like. Humour and playfulness have their place and are very important but they shouldn’t be used during the whole interaction.
Let’s take a concrete example so that you understand what I’m going to explain you below:
You’re in a date with a girl you met – in a bar or a cafe drinking cocktails. Both of you are enjoying your time together. You start the date by being playful and using humour in order to make the girl laugh and feel positive emotions. But unfortunately, since you’re constantly making jokes and teasing the girl, there’s no sexual tension. You kill sexual tension everytime you make a joke, say something funny to the girl, or try to tease her.
The girl cannot become really turned on, because you don’t allow a strong sexual tension to take place. You can’t have this moment when you and the girl are looking quietly at each other, without saying anything, but just waiting for something to happen, feeling the sexual energy flowing.
When you constantly make joke or tease the girl, you can’t have those moments. And it’s a pity, because those moments are precisely the moments when the girl can really feel that something is going on between you. It’s those moments when the girl can desperately wait for you to kiss her. It’s those moments when you can take action in order to seal the deal. When you can’t stop using humour or being playful, you miss those moments and struggle to make something happen with the girl. But there’s more…
When you can’t stop being joyful and playful, you actually appear weak. It makes the girl feel that you’re not confident enough to behave as a normal guy, without trying too much to make other people laugh. It makes her feel that you are afraid of being just you, without trying to play a role (because if you can’t stop using humour, you actually look like a guy who is playing a role, or like little boy who can’t be solid). This is going to turn her off. And that’s not good.
Humour is great when you want to make the girl laugh, for instance when you approach her or at the beginning of a date, but you must understand that it shouldn’t be used constantly. There are times when instead of being playful, you’d better be serious. By showing the girl that you’re able to be serious (and even boring) as well, you allow her to see you as a strong masculine guy who is not afraid of letting others see him as who he really is. This is going to give much more impact to your humour when you use it.